One think I think I might have failed to mention is that with my newly diagnoised illness I am unable to drive locally for 6 months and a year for interstate driving. Now, there are some parts of the country, some parts of the world where this would not be an issue, but here it is.
One think I find amusing about all that is that this area has been designed so the whole down is spread out. Every store, restaurant (and last I knew we held the Guiness world record for most restaurants per capita and per sq foot.) No one wants to share. They all have to have there only mega complex, there on estate. this includes a wide, and rather low building and a giant parking lot. The town is so poorly organized that I have to drive 15 minutes to hit a grocery store. 15 minutes to get to work. quite honestly this means a 15 to 20 minute drive to get anywhere. from work the the bowling alley, home to the mall. the mall to Target, target to home. Home to may beautian takes 20 to 25 minutes and that's a good day. this would be one thing if we were major city, but we are a moteratly populated Mid western city. And the very best part of all this.....We have to drive everywhere and now people bitch about how much they spend on gas. if people had just built up instead of out, or remodeled or knocked down and rebuilt in the same place instead of just closing one store or one factory and building another just on the edge of town, this would have deminished how much driving we have to do!
Anyway, back to my lack of transportation.
Our mastransit system around here isn't very good. We do have a pretty good bus system, but unlike other parts of the country/world we don't have professional type people riding. It is either students of creeps. And I don't what that to sound mean, but its true. being that where I work really isn't really high on the places students like to go, ie no where close to the college. close to a high school but I don't students would be riding at 6pm) frankly I'm scared to ride the bus. Whether it is do the the fact that I'm scared to ride it by myself, or that I'm afraid it will make me late for work....and I really don't feel like waiting a long time in the evening for one to take me home, especially next to a very busy road.
all this means that I'm stuck finding rides to and from work. I have to find rides to go the the grocery store, various friends house. Rides home afterwards. All of this is a major fucking inconinence for everyone.
With the driving issue and being sceduled I feel so out of control of my own life. And I've been really doing a lot of things to try and take control some how.
I've been freakishly cleaning my room Now I can be messy and a bit of a pack rat. I can clean it up from time to time. this usually means putting things alway and finding other random things into boxes.
But this time I've been digging all the clothes I don't, and won't ever wear out of the closet and drawers, throwing things a way, giving away others. This is anything from t-shirt to shoes. I even bought a new desk one that would be better suited to my needs and would collect less dust and less clutter.
I rearranged the whole damn place. ...actually putting things where I originally wanted to put thim, only to be brain washed by my mom. every thing is much better. I've bought 2 bookcases to organize things and keep them from accmulating in the closet or under the bed or in drawers. I've also being going through things like old cd cases and getting rid of the broken ones and the ones I don't need because the cd is lost or damaged.
While I had everything moved I cleaned and dusted and vacumed all the hidden parts of the walls and floors. Seriously I dusted every baseboard.
Wih more room in my drawers and specific, reachable, more accessable place to keep my shoes and clothes I've had much more motivation to put them away, and keep them put alway so they don't acculated and get in the way and cause everything to become a mess again.
I am well aware of the time and effort it took to get my space in this condition (am still cleaning and reorganizing things.)
Mmmmm seems I have miss writing here. It really is nice to put down and get out all the thoughts in my head and pretend someone is listening.
4:28 p.m. - September 12, 2007
Recent entries:
Change. - March 17, 2016
Yes, I have returned. - March 12, 2016
Me being overly analytical of Britney and Christina - July 31, 2008
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Fantasy is sometimes better than reality. - July 24, 2008
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