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| nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME --Wurdz by Otep Shamaya |
 is it this hard for everyone?November 09, 2003 11:33 p.m. Related Reading So we all know I'm lame. I'm gonna hate myself for doing this entry, but...here it comes. I had been doing well all day....being strong, confident....honestly convincing myself that Jeff wasn't worth my time and that I had no desire to see or talk to him and that I was really over him... and then when I was watching Carnivale a man kissed a woman like Jeff kissed me for the first time.....and I instantly relapse. and now apparently (joy of away messages) He has cable internet. therefore his screenname will always be there....and I am so preoccuiped by it. I am constantly aware that he is online and not wanting to converse with me...and that hurts and I can' bring myself to remove his name for my buddylist or to log off......and I ache to message him ....but my willpower keeps me from doing it. ah the torment of it all.  Poe "Wild"November 09, 2003 11:21 p.m. Related Reading I go wild, cause you break me open. Wild, cause you left me here. I go wild cause your promises are broken Wild because the chips are down. Wild because there isn't anybody else around Wild when the waves start to break, And God knows they're breaking in me now I go Wild because it doesn't make sense For me to cry out in my own defense Wild 'cause I would do anything To tear you off your precious fence So this is what it's like living in limbo First I'm high then I'm so low I go wild 'Cause you break me open Wild,'Cause you left me here I go wild 'Cause your promises are broken Wild, When I know you're near and I go wild I go wild Tell me what you've come for Moving like a hunter through my back door Leaving the perfume of all you adore To die nameless on my floor Yeah well we both know you don't play fair I guess you really think that you get me there Let's be honest perhaps this little ride Is too much for even you to bear You've got some nerve to come back here You're not the only one who can smell fear I go wild, 'Cause you break me open Wild, 'Cause you left me here I go wild, 'Cause your promises are broken Wild, Don't you get it dear You're not the only one who runs on instincts No I've got instincts of my own You've got a lot of nerve to come back Plan your attack yeah I am still waiting You wrote the rules to try to contain me You broke 'em Now you have untamed me I go wild I go wild Tell me what you've come for What is it you adore Won't you tell me? What would you cry for? Swallow your pride for? What would you go wild for? You've got a lot of nerve to come back here Speak up my darling I have been waiting I go wild, 'Cause you break me open Wild, 'Cause you left me here I go wild, 'Cause your promises are broken Wild, Don't you get it dear You're not the only one who runs on instincts No I've got instincts of my own You've got alot of nerve to come back Plan your attack yeah I am still waiting (Did you want somethin'?) You wrote the rules to try and contain me You broke 'em Now you have untamed me I go wild I go wild |
Otep   |
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