Troy
May 23, 2004 8:44 p.m.

What a horrible movie! I mean that has to be the most cliche cheesey display of crap I have seen since the first Matrix.

It tried way to hard to be the Return of the King and failed for many reasons.

One. lack of plot.

Two. Lack Characters worth caring about.

Three. Bad special Effects.

Four. Overall boring fight sequences.

five. Lack of comic relief.

And ya know...I know it's a summer movie. you have to give summer movies a bit of slack for plot. the point of a summer movie is to giving you something fun and exciting to distract your mind for a while...keep you on the edge of your seat...not really make you think.

I mean...Van Helsing was lacking in plot but it was very good at keeping you on your seat. And it might have been predictable as hell....but atleast it is an entertaining way to spend a couple of hours. this was boring as hell!!!!!

and as much as I love Brad Pitt the actor who played Eomer would have maded a better Aklies.

Ugh, and they left out all the cool details about the legend, The Goddesses...the Gods, Cassandra....all those things, they left out!

And they guy playing the King whose name I'm not even going to attempt to spell was the actor who played the villian in X2 and that's was all I could picture him as.

And what was all crap about their cousins.....and that crap about "You bring me peace.". Way to go Brad, did you have to resurrect Louis (Interview w/the Vampire) to deliever that line? I mean come on!

And I know Paris is like the biggest pussy bitch in liturature...but ugh give me a break, and Helen being all like "it's okay that your a coward because I was married to a warrior and I was miserable". What is that shit. And then at the end when they had to give Orlando Bloom a bow. what the fuck. give me a break. His character wouldn't do that. I mean....atleast Viggo in Hidalago realized that his character would use a gun when everyone around him was using swords....(and being in the audience chanting "Give Viggo a sword" I knew it wasn't right for the part) Paris would not have used a bow. And what the crap was that when they were all fleeing Troy and Paris was all like "Oh I must stay, I must Fight. My father won't leave the city and neither will I!". I was just like, Look bitch, you've proved yourself the biggest coward. you're whole country thinks you're a coward, there's no point dying in vain now for the sake of honor. just fucking run and hide with the woman you loved so much that you had the start the war....I mean....if you die or the 2 of you are miserable then the whole war is in vain.

And the CGI of the ships was so bad. It was like they designed 12 ships and copied and pasted them onto a flat picture of water. I mean...hell they didn't even look like they were sailing!

Ugh....horrible. Much pain to those people who told me it was good.