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| nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME --Wurdz by Otep Shamaya |
 tired of failing.January 18, 2005 9:20 p.m. Related Reading I'm so sick of failing things. I wish I was able to do something right. Say the right thing, do the right thing. Win at something. Be satisfied and without doubt or fear. I'm tired of being angry and frustrated. I'm tired of feeling powerless. tired of being confused. Tired of always wanting. Tired of needing. tried of having all of this pinned up aggression. I want to throw things...everything yell and scream at the top of my lungs. I have so much negative energy and emotion just building up inside of me and I can't release it. I can't go to a studio and throw paint palette knives and some worthless piece of canvase. the muse is feasting on my insides because I just don't know how to release her. ...and I can't help but inflict the burn on everyone who comes close to me. Everything out of my mouth seems to be an attempt to make them hurt as much as I do.....but it doesn't work and I feel worse for my behavior. Do you see how I'm failing? I'm so cruel. I don't deserve any of them. |
Otep   |
| Me being overly analytical of Britney and Christina - July 31, 2008 - - Fantasy is sometimes better than reality. - July 24, 2008 Count Down with Keith Olbermann Special Comment - June 12, 2008 Reality Romances. - May 22, 2008 Layout by Raven Green |