Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

T Dream
October 04, 2001 11:05a.m.

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So I had a dream last night,...or rather this morning. And I don't remember my dreams often...thus is why I'm posting it.

Yes, It was a T dream, I know I'm sad. I think it might have been derived from the fact that I saw him twice in passing yesterday, but didn't speak with him.

**Side Note, it is a rare occasion when I see this boy,...let alone twice in one day

***Side Note 2, the chick who lives next to me told me that she passed him too and that he was...........humming something. How cute is that? That made tough 'wannabee' bad ass,..confident independent woman (no I didn't buy my car) me curl up on the floor and 'awwww' like a 5 year old. It's like what Dana Carvy says about kids,..."I'm weak, the power of his cuteness has made me weak. It's like superman on kryptonite, can not move 'boy' to cute".

Anyway, My dream which is the point of this entry. Dreamt I ran into him somewhere. And I've been thinking alot lately that there is the book I have that he really needs to read, and I've told him about a few times...but....Anyway, in the dream I remind him of this and he agrees to come back with me to my room to get it. but instead, we go to his house...as in his parents house. And we're just hang out,..he gets the book, I have him read some,..and then he goes off to another part of the house. And I start talking with 'his dad'. I don't remember all that he was saying, but he gave me a yellow post-it note with some things writen about me on it. and around this time T comes back and is talking with his parents in another room, and I'm just ease dropping,...and it's just standard family stuff. but as I look at the post it I get the realilzation that this was a post-it I gave him with things about me that I wanted him to know and that, and by giving this back it was his way of writing me off and not talking to me again. And the fact that he had his father give it to me..........then...he comes back into the room where I am, and I notice he as cut his hair. See, he had very short hair when I met him , and now it's long, about alittle past his nose (gosh I'm sad)......and he just cuts it all off out of the blue.

I guess it means that I'm scared he going to change and not want anything to do with me. ....Um......Okay, can we say DER?

Past

Present

Coffee

Zeldman

Otep

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