Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

saw t briefly.
October 09, 2002 9:06 p.m.

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"I have to keep a hold of myself, is that really you or is it someone else? I swear! It looks just like him, the one who doesn't know what a state I'm in, like a broken brige, got to swing on him, just like a jungle gym" ~Poe "Could Have Gone Mad".

All I can say is "fuckin' A".

Fuckin' A.

I was in the coffeehouse all day today, ..and around 7 guess who came in.

You guessed it. But...the thing was it's been so long since I've seen him that it took me a long time to realize it was him,...I mean, I thought it was him,...and it looked like him, but kinda not, and then I looked back and decided that it was him,...and then turned back around to ask one of the coffee boys something about him, debating if in fact it is him, then I turned back around and he was gone. Damn it! I swear, he was only there in time to order a large coffee, have the girl get it and leave. ..so he was there for maybe 2 minutes. Grrr

I told the coffee boy that it must have been him because he left so quickly to avoid me. ...but the coffee boy said that he's in there all the time and does that....just pops in and gets a large coffee and leaves (did not need to know this) and therefore it might not have been me, in fact he might not have even seen me,...and if he had, he might not have even reconized me,...I mean I dyed my hair again, now it's a really dark brown/redish black. (looks really good) And he hasn't seen me since I died my hair, and I was sitting a good deal way.

"So it's just a retroactive decision I can just forget about *him* and when *he* comes back make like I just pretended to forget about *him*?" "Right though probably the opposite...at first you'll pretend to forget about *him* not call, whatever, but then you really will forget about *him*." "unless *he* comes back first" "See that's the thing some how they no not to come back until you really forget." ~swingers

~sigh~ and I had really forgotten just how cute his smile is. Damn it damn it. ..I dunno maybe I should use this to ask someone about him. Ya know...talk to one of the chicks that I know that know him and say "Hey I think I saw T in the coffee house the other day,...what's up with him, do you know?" Hmmm...I just might do that....if the opprotunity presents itself, that and I grow a pair of balls.

Past

Present

Coffee

Zeldman

Otep

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