Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

cathartic ritual
May 31, 2005 12:31 a.m.

Related Reading

I'm thinking my current insatiable desire for sex is a result of constant stress from work...which needs to be release...and also the need to feel good.

And my lack of artistic productivity.

If I think I'm masturbating more to feel like I do when I'm painting.

this means I need to paint more...problem solved.

There's an OTEP concert on the horizon...and the end of the week....which I'm desperately hoping to make.

mmmm such a cathartic ritual might be just what I need.

Procrastination is like Masturbation because in the end your only screwing yourself.
May 31, 2005 6:05 p.m.

Related Reading

Call me pathetic, but I think I'm a sex addict.

And not in the cool way.

As in I suffer from classic addiction symtoms.

I don't think rationally when confronted with the opprotunity for an orgasm.

And I have this inablity two stop.

For example...an alcoholic might say, "I'll only have to drinks tonight" but will always have more. the compulsive need for more.

1 is not enough.

3 is not enough.

5 and I still want more.

I can have mind blowing orgasm after mind blowing orgasm, laying there in my bed exhausted and spent...preparing to fall asleep.

And then for whatever reason...I start to play again.

it's like I can feel the buzz fade. ...I can be laying there in this heavenly euphoria....and as it fades I need to have it again.

and so I do....so many until I lose count and pass out.

heh....sounds like an addict.

Addiction does run in my family, I've always wondered if maybe this was mine.

right now my body is so sore. ..I've been playing so much that I've made myself physically sore. ..and I'll feel it as it happens, but I just ignore it....sometimes I even like the pain.

but now I sit here wondering how to make my vagina less sore.

it could be a combination of factors.

One, I recently had a yeast infection, which was as unpleasent as always.

Then I got my new toy which has very dense ridges....which is a bit more rough that I expected. ....and I've been using it quite alot.

and I think I've been doing it too much.

As a woman we are designed to go over and over again, and each one is more intense than the last...shouldn't I keep going as long as I can?

And now I'm thinking of holding out a bit....giving myself time to ...I dunno...heal...but I don't know how good I am with that.

Past

Present

Coffee

Zeldman

Otep