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| nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME --Wurdz by Otep Shamaya |
 more on 13January 13, 2004 11:06 p.m. Related Reading So adding to my last entry I meant add other reason why I'm 13. Funny ones. Like the fact that I still have to the hottest picture of someone to set as wallpaper. ....and have these horribly adolesant crushes. Oh yeah, and I still sleep with a teddy bear. And absolutely wonderful teddy bear. Oh and I've been ridiculously addicted to the Wionna Rider, Christian Bale, Kirstin Dunst version of Little Women. I mean I've been watching the damn thing non stop since I moved into my apartment! Seriously! it ends and rewind it and play it again. I have a tendency to do this but...not for this extended of a time. ....I have watched others....but I just crave this one! something about being an unusual girl and facing growing up. I tried reading the book but couldn't get past the first chapter. Maybe I'll try again another day.
I have not sold out, I will not grow up...January 13, 2004 12:17 a.m. Related Reading So this growing up thing is weird. Tonight I found out that a friend of mine from high school had lazy sex with his wife the night before new years and they are now expecting a child. ...it's a bit sooner than they were planning, but eh...it happens. Right now I feel like in that new Jennifer Garner movie "13 going on 30". People I know are getting married, and buying houses and having kids and buying fancy trucks and cars. Settling into long term careers in their field of choice. .....And here I am still looking for that first (not counting the male friend who was my 'boyfriend' the summer between 8th and 9th grade. ...my first and only boyfriend ...who broke up with me in a very mature manner...he politely told me he saw me more as a friend (and I him) ....spoiled me for life apparently) real relationship, first real boyfriend. (nope Jeff doesn't count because we weren't defined remember. I never got to call him my boyfriend. Really, that's all I want. I want to be able to call someone my boyfriend. "hi, this is my boyfriend". Ya know never was he to dislike boys. I've been chasing them for as long as I can remember. Isn't it ironic? do cha think?). Oh...and I've very glad I took the opprotunity to dye my hair so many shades of red, from burgandy to my-so-called-life-red, to copper. and I'm glad I had my labret pierced even if it was for only 6 months. I still have a scar as a small reminder. Glad I don't regret not acting on all those freaking artist desires before I grew up and joined the comformist real world. and I did NOT join in my co-workers mocking of a 'freak'-type girl today. I haven't entirely sold out Goddamnit! anyway, I'm going into this whole adult thing kicking and screaming. |
Otep   |
| Me being overly analytical of Britney and Christina - July 31, 2008 - - Fantasy is sometimes better than reality. - July 24, 2008 Count Down with Keith Olbermann Special Comment - June 12, 2008 Reality Romances. - May 22, 2008 Layout by Raven Green |