The most significant unrecorded moment in my life.
September 05, 2001 1:36 a.m.

See, I was raised Christain, My grandmother would read the Bible to me all the time when I was little,..but I never took it as truth, just stories.

I never had a real, personal relationship with God.

Oh, I went to church and knew how to answer the questions properly, "Getting to know Jesus and your own personal Savior". But Honestly, I never got it.

I never prayed either.

Then, my Jr. year in highschool a girl who I was in choir with was diagoised with Leukimeia<--sp? over our spring break. That hit really close to home.

Her close friends would always bring in cards for us to sign for her. This one time I said that I would keep her in my prayers, and I started thinking, hmmm I don't pray, how does one do this. I think I asked a friend of mine how I should pray. I mean...like I said I knew all the 'right' answers,...how do we pray..."Our father, who art in Heaven hallo be thy name. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done...." But I honestly didn't know how to pray. So I started one night...just praying, things like "God, I don't know if you're there, and I don't know if I'm doing this right, but please be with Sarah, please Heal her." things like that. And thus I began to pray.

Then that summer I went to France with my french class (novel concept huh) and one of the things which was top on my list of things to do in Paris was to light a candle and say a prayer for her in Saint Chapelle. I'm not Catholic, I don't know the saints...but I felt the need to do this.

So..on our free day some friends and I head over the Saint chapelle and find out that it is closed for choir practice, so we decided to go back to Notre Dame which was only a few blocks away. ...And as we headed over there the sky got black and it started to rain.

When we got to Notre Dame my friends told me that this is something that I needed to do on my own, and they would wait for me outside.

So I entered. There is a double set of doors which makes sure no direct light can enter the church. Even that it is of Gothic style not much light comes in anyway, but with the rain storm there was absolutely NO light coming in at all. The place was completely dark with the exception of the numerous glowing candles.

Just inside the door in one of the alcoves was a large Cruxifix. ..I figured...hey, I don't know the saints, but I know Jesus, so I walked over, put out my five francs, lit my candle and started praying. It was like I was absolutely surrounded by light in this darkness. I didn't even realize it, but I was just sobbing, large fat tears. The presance of God that day was so undeniable. I have not forgotten it. Granted I don't remember entirely how I felt, but if I want to I can still close my eyes and I'm back there.

And that is my most signficant, unrecorded event in my life, maybe THE MOST signficant moment in my life...and I was going to replace it with a dumb memory of a stupid boy. Bad Me.