Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

People have nightmares after watching scarey movies?
October 24, 2002 10:52 p.m.

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So that movie was so freaky it put me on so much of an edge that I had a nightmare and a panic attack.

It took me so long to relax and lull me to sleep,...and then once I was finally asleep, I had a nightmare. It had nothing to do with the movie, rather the sole factor that I was afraid. I can't remember it exactly, but I do remember hiding above this stage where and "Opera" was being performed. ..I'm mean opera...I mean like how The Cell is decribe as an oprea. It was also very simlar to the Mikcado as performed at my university last year.

Anyway, so I was hiding above the stage, and for some reason I need to get down,...so I jumped....and I saw the view as I fell...the things that I hit on my way to the ground. ...Somehow when I fell I managed to grab a necklace with a large pendent from one of the actors, and it was around my neck, and thus as soon as I was on the ground I was surrounded by all these people who were wanting to take the necklace from me, and somehow I knew that I must never give it to them or bad things would happen.

Then at some point they are escorting me though this hallway and I see some people I reconize. Those who are escorting me are all large men, and the hallway is lined with males (I use the word male to signify that they were males of all ages,..Men who I preceive as being older, and guys being my age). The only one I can remember is the guy who I went out with twice solely for free coffee. The guy who claimed he was buddy buddy with thrid eye blind, 2 members of U2, Sting, and Jude Law. ...the guy who wanted to go out to Mississippi River on the eve of Jeff Buckly's death so he could pay his respects. And now come to think of it the other was T. ...or maybe I was trying to get to him, anyhow I think he was there.

Anyway, it was around this point that I got the most absolutely worst feeling in the pit of my stomach. for some reason being in his location made me more afraid than I have ever been in my life. I KNEW something awful was about to happen, yet I kept going...and the I hear this voice in my head telling me that something bad is about to happen and that it would be in my best interest if I woke up. ...And thus I did...I just sort of opened my eyes and I was awake. ..it was almost like my subconsinece was about to show me something that it knew I couldn't handle and decided to wake me from it. though, right before I woke up, my mind cut to this image of the front a red and black truck just pulling into frame (like a film) and for some reason I knew that was very very bad.

Anyway, when I woke up I just sat right up in bed and turned the light on. I got up and went to the bathroom and got a drink. I noted that it was 6am, and I had to get up in an hour, but I was absolutely exausted and needed to go back to sleep,...but I was so deeply horrified that I couldn't. ..I tried laying back down and closing my eyes but I kept getting the last image of the dream, or being freaked out by the sounds for trucks driving by, or even by shadows in my room....but at one point I realized that Bob and Tom might be on, so I turned my radio on, and sure enough they were. I listened to "paging Richard Smoker" (his name is richard, but we call him Big Dick. ...I'm looking for a Big dick smoker) and that and some other relaxed me enough to sleep.

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