POY : Online Friends
July 10, 2004 8:21 p.m.

Do you think a lasting relationship can be formed with someone you've never met in person? Is an online friend any different than a friend anywhere else?

Ya know, I'm not quite sure if lasting relationships can be made though only online communication. I have been conversing with a man in New Zealand for the past 3 years and I have yet to become bored with that situation, I still enjoy conversing with him every chance I get. We have discussed talking on the phone, but that has yet to happen....and I don't think that's something I'm comfortable with yet.

I don't think an online relationship can be compared to a normal relationship.

First off...the nz guy and I would never have met under normal conditions. Even if we had been in a situation where meeting was possible...say a bar. ...I'm not quite sure how old he is....but I'm pretty sure he's in his 30's. He has a masters, a phd. he is a former engineer studying to be a lawyer. He's very athletic, very outgoing, adverturous...outdoors-y and from every picture I've seen he's not especially attractive, nor is he my usual type. But even if he were the type that normally gets my attention...what is the likelihood of an extremely educated, mature man approching me in a bar? I'm an artsy girl that looks atleast 4 years younger than I am. ...so I really don't see him coming up to me....and I don't usually approch guys when I'm out....particularly someone that looks signficately older. So in a real world senario we would have never met.

Now....this is of course ignoring the fact that we all act differently when we converse with someone online. I know I am much more confident and self assure when conversing with males online. I am loud and confident and overtly sexual when around my male friends but not so much when communicating with males I'm attacted to. ...The higher the sexual tension, the less sexual I will be. So again, the version of me that he has gotten to know is not the me he would have gotten to know if we had met in reality. which is also why I'm reluctant to have any real life contact with him. ....He knows things about me that no one else knows, simply because I know he's on the otherside of the world.

Also, though this type of communication we can avoid discussing specific topics. For example I have never heard of him dating anyone...and he really doesn't know if I've been dating someone. Granted I've only dated one person...and he' didn't learn about it until after ended...but that's irrelavent. ....eh...maybe he hasn't been dating anyone either.

So clearly...online relationships are much different than real ones.

Plus, since there is such a time difference that there are a limited number of hours when we can converse with out delay. ...He used to be able to use AIM while at work, but he can't anymore, so the only time he can is around 12:30am my time...and when I'm working that's an impossiblity. And he's been doing alot of studying for these big law exams so he hasn't had any time and he's also been very stressed (logicly)...so we have to converse via email ....and when you're only conversing with someone via email you don't have the possiblity of certain annoying hibits ...when communicating online everyone is an ideal until they prove you otherwise. ...