Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

the phoenix
April 17, 2003 2:16 a.m.

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yeah.....There is so much about B that I wish I could write about in here, there are so many heavy things that he has told me about himself...things that really weight on me that I can never tell anyone..

But tonight, I really have to to write about one.

His job that he's working at now offers health benefits and he's been needing to get a check up since his cancer surgery last summer, but because he didn't have insurance he hasn't done it. (which everyone is annoyed about) and now that he has it he has been some what reluctant to go to a dr. just because it's rather embaressing for him to discuss the things which he needs to discuss.

Well, today they handed out a flyer on a take home colan exam, test yourself for cancer right in the privacy of your own home, and he said he's really excitied about this because now maybe he can do something about the blood.

..............blood?

He said it's been a particularly regular occurance for sometime now.

Do you know how scared that makes me? and I told him that it scares me and I that I worry about him so much, and that I really don't want to lose him, and he told me that he had no intention of dying anytime soon. And I know....trust the psychic...but again I don't know what I'd do if I lost him. ...hell I do know...atleast for the first few days/weeks/months. ...I would not get out of bed. I would lock my door and not get out of bed, I don't think I'd eat either.

Trust the psychic, and trust the phoenix to rise from the ashes.

He has told me how ancient legends tell of how mythological creatures can be forced to become human, usually as an attempt to teach them to be humble. Once the Phoenix (or dragon or whatever) learns this lession it can regain their true form. I swear to you it would not surprise me in the least if his true form was that of a Phoenix.

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