Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

fucked up dream
October 11, 2003 3:07 p.m.

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I've been having alot of nightmares lately.

The other night it was an intense appocolyptic one making me freaking out with the world ending.

I had one theo there night though I don't quite remember it now.

And LAST night I had a very 'appocolpytic" Pelican Brief type dream.

I guess I worked for the Pentigon and was some kind of spy and for some reason I started investigating GDub and I some how gained access to his top secret rooms that he has made to showcase his future plans kinda like a museum. ...small minture cases. The most horrible of which was a case of 3 black (the dream alluded that they were real Africans) figures huddled together in a desert where their city used ot be. And I just remember being horrified and disguisted. then at some point these official looking people came out and started mass torching everyone in the room,...So home my friend Becky and I found and escape though these we figured would be locked....

But for some reason the steps we found were impossible to go down....they were designed for going up...so we started jumping down though the bars to the next rows of steps..then almost sliding. At some point though I lost her ....but I Knew that I could not be responsible for her and had to keep going and get out and tell all I knew and saw. At somepoint I found someone I new and trusted and he had a brother with a cab so we ran and ran an ran to the cab and finally found it and flew out of there like mad.

He took me to this hide which actually was the home of some of my old friends but they weren't there, and as I was preparing for what I had to do, disguising myself...wandering if I could use my pentigon ID because the moment I would use it to get into the building they (you know THEM) would swoop down and kill me. ...So as I was there I saw a large canvase and I started painting...I mean this was a canvase the size of a wall. And I started painting on it quickly, using my friend available paints (I never liked is work anyway) and I just did this AMAZING paintint! ....then at some point Hue Heffner comes out and starts telling me how great it is...and hitting on me! (isn't that fucked up!)

I think some time around there I woke up. ....Oh and some where in the middle I had woken up once before but the dream continued when I fell back to sleep....maybe that's when the painting sequence started.

Past

Present

Coffee

Zeldman

Otep

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