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| nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME --Wurdz by Otep Shamaya |
 My own Voice, My own Drums.August 19, 2005 3:35 a.m. Related Reading One thing about being artist is acknowledging without a doubt that that is what you are. When I painting it is such a pure moment, I focus all my energy and magic just happens, something beauiful emerges ("I just wanted to show you something beauiful" Barton Fink). all I do is sit back and go along for the ride. Becky and I have been watching season 3 of six feet under. This is my favorite season! The main aspect I enjoy is the Claire storyline. I enjoy everything about thining, and talking about, and making art. I love the class lectures. There's a fantastic lecture where the professor states that a piece makes him want to throw up....because the statement is so pure and intense it creates and emotional reaction. That's what I try to do with my art. He also discusses the idea of "Painting with your own voice". And I think that's something I do. Part of me wants to sit and nit pick all the influences....I get very scared my work too much resembles Max Beckman, or Louise Nevelson. but then I look at their work and I can see something unique and special about my work. I remember going to Critques where it sometimes seemed a bad thing that everyone could easily pick out my piece, but maybe that is because I so clearly speak with my own voice and march to my own drums. I dunno, I feel like this when the paintings come easy. Where the muse is speaking though me and all I'm doing is recording. that's how it felt tonight. So easy and the results impress me that I can't deny that I am supposed to be making art. I really want to post some pictures of my 2 works in progress, maybe 3, but that means getting ahold of a camra. My mom Freaked out the last time I borrow theirs. I wish I had the money for a new one. Okay, well I think that's enough egotistical elitism for the night, my eyes are giving out, it's time for bed. |
Otep   |
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