Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

Otep, and all that Garbage.
September 22, 2004 2:24 a.m.

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working 6 days a week and I get called in on my day off. How much does that suck?

Atleast I got to work with this one guy who I seem to click and work well with.

Also, had a nice conversation with Mr. Conductor,..getting to know him a bit more.

In a completely unrelated note, Miss Otep updated her diaryland diary, How Awesome is that!!!! Otep is a diaryland member!

So, having Otep on the brain, someone came into the store today wearing a mudvayne shirt and I had to ask him if he knew Otep, he did, but didn't have the new album, so I had to run in the back to get the case to show him.

I was in a store in the good old TH and they had a big sign telling everyone to get the up and coming bands first.....Otep was on that list,...the name fairly big print, they didn't have a single Otep cd in the store, and as a shadow soldier this pissed me off.

I was looking around the Offical Otep site seeing all sorts of Otep tattoos, and for some reason had a craving to get one. ....not really sure why. ...I had thought about getting these two dragonlance trees tattooed on my shoulders, Solace at the beginning of Autumn Twilight,...and then a difference solace tree, but not that much into pain, or wanting to have them permantly, plus they are expense as hell. ...and again, don't think I could handle the pain and needle work of getting it done. ....but as I romanticized the notion of getting a nipple pierced, and I still do from time to time, I think I'll romantize the idea of getting an Otep tattoo. ....And the thing is people that get, say, Linkin' Park tattoos, or Kid Rock tattoos.....10 years from now will look like fools.....but what about Otep? I love them for the desire to be implusive, and deep, and emotional ...thought provoking, poetic, cathartic.....the ever need to express ones self with and through art, strieving for creating at every point, growth and rebirth....I mean, I don't know if this is like a fleeting obcession with Oasis. ....and I've never considered a NIN or a Garbage tattoo, as much as I love them.

I've heard of people getting Fiona lyrics tattooed on them, and as cool as that is, never really considered it for myself.

and as much as I love all those artists, for some reason otep seems different in my mind.

And I don't even list Otep as one of my favorite bands in my profile. ...Yes I love them, but considering all the shit that my NIN and Normals (Andrew) have seen me through. Considering how many times I've screamed along with Shirly and Poe and Fiona,....I have such an emotional connection with their art and it has be come a part of me. ....and I discover new depths of my love every day.

I was in a garbage mood recently, playing all their albums on repeat, and when I was playing the first one again, being that I've been sadly addicted to Beautiful Garbage....I started really understanding what Shirly was saying now that I have the life experience to identify with it.

Nothing that you say will release you
Nothing that you pray would forgive you
Nothing's what your words mean to me
Something that you did will destroy me
Something that you said will stay with me
Long after you're dead and gone

...

Nothing said could change the fact
My trust was blind
You broke the pact
If God's my witness, God must be blind

Take it back I dare you take it back
No you can't? You should have thought of that
What's inside a man
That goes so wrong

...

Choke on guilt that's far too good for you
Say one word I'll laugh and bury you
And leave you in the place
Where you left me

~Garbage, Heaven is Wide.

I mean, with Otep....would I want a logo? No. Would I want one of her drawings, nah, don't think so.

Lyrics? I dunno, which ones?

"In the harem tents outside, just beyond the edges, I ride, a cycoptic mare into the fires of Imagination."

And where would I put it? ....an a few years it would fade and become unreadable if it is too small, and that's a lot of text. ...And plus I'm marking my body with someone else's emotion and creativity? doesn't that go against all that I love about them?

I dunno, just an interesting idea to roll around in my head.

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