Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

writing not doing
April 04, 2005 4:19 a.m.

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so tired, but I want to do an entry. I dunno...I just feel obligated to do it for some reason.

There's so much going on in my head right now.

thinking about how boring my life is become....the lameness of my everyday routine. people ask what's new...and really, there isn't that much. I'm not learning new and exciting things, I'm not having all sorts of exciting ideas.

B might be moving to New York. His lovely real life job might be promoting him to the New York office soon. He's going to go off and have this whole new exciting life....and well...gee. what's my life like?

I've been thinking about going back to school.

I'm also about to start a new piece. I got these 2 big frames and I'm preparing them for what ever it is I need to do with them.

I think I'm actually being motivated. feeling motivated.

Maybe I will be brave enough feel the need for my voice to be heard. ...I've been drowning in the big pond...I think I'm going to swim to the surface soon.

Past

Present

Coffee

Zeldman

Otep

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