Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

interesting night o drama.
November 30, 2002 4:14 p.m.

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Okay, so last night was rather interesting. Being that I am at my parents house for the time being, I find myself associatied with those people whom I associated with when I am here...Specificly these 2 guy friends of mine, both of which have recently joined the military and have not hung out with them in length since they got back from basic. That is what happened last night. That is right, I hung out with 2 military boys (one army the other air force) and one of my best girl frineds from middle school though high school...though I haven't seen her much since college. but...I had finally come to a point where I didn't give a shit what she did. She got married last summer and none of us were there, partly because we all disapproved.

Anyway, so it was the 4 of us, and alot of alchol. ...actually there wasn't all that much, but there was a sufficient amount to get every more than attiqutely toasted.

What was discussed? Well,....sex was spoken of a great deal, I shall spare you the details. Um...also my friend from hs's husband (can't get used to that) is in the Navy...and so she spent a great deal of the night crying because the boys are going to be deployed soon. (damn GDUB) and she (because she was really really drunk) started going off on how she misses me, and how she has taken me for granted since 8th grade and what not.

So....because she could drive home (and I can't driving anyway because my car is in the shop...partly why I felt it was okay for me to drink...alot). so she crashed at my house,.....and then when she woke up really freaking early this morning to walk home,...there was a tinge of awkward-isity. It's kinda weird. ....so yeah.

Oh, and I asked the boys there opinion on the Ceramic boy situation. The both told me that I need to ask him directly as soon as possible. ...something like "Hey, I wanted to ask you something, I've been somewhat confused about our relationship lately and I was told by ______ That you have serious girlfriend. Now....I just want to clarify the nature of our relationship. If you want to be just friends, I am insanely cool with that. Or,...if you want to be more than friends...I would be up for persuing that too, but really I like being friends with you...and what whatever our relationship is....I really don't give a shit either way,..I just want clarifacation of a confusing situation."

Anyway....I'm scampering off to grab so food.

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