Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

B and the new Potter Trailer
May 04, 2004 5:12 a.m.

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B called this evening to tell me that he saw the new Harry Potter Trailer and that apparently Harry is very sexy casting a Patronus at the end...B said it totally made him wet himself and he was sure it would make me wet too.

We talked for awhile. He told me that it tried calling me at home and got Becky...for whatever reason...he can't stand her...it's almost amusing actually....Becky said she was constantly thinking "Don't be rude! Don't be rude!" but apparently she was..

He said when he called he left a message he said, "Tell her her best friend called......the gorgeous one..." ...that made me happy, that he would actually reference himself as my best friend. See....I've never really been a position to say that such and such is my best friend...I know that's completely middle school...but it's true. ...I've always had reluctance saying that because no one has really known me well enough for me to say that they are my best friend....Now I have 2! B and Becky (and interestingly enough they don't get along). And I've also never been in a postion where I am someone's best friend. (eh...I could be Becky's best friend...not quite sure...that's an arrogant statement and I'd rather not make it) I'd like to say I'm B's best friend....but the truth is he has lots of friends....and so many of them say that he is the best friend (this is such and elementary school concept isn't it?). I honestly couldn't tell you. ..And ya know...I think it changes. he becomse very obbcessed with his friends....for say a month his best friend was me. We hung out all the time, we did an assortment of things....he came to me when he was hiding from everyone else. ...and then after me I think it was J, and then after J it was someone else (and she freaked out and didn't understand the pattern). For awhile it was Mr. Chris, and now I believe it's Mr. Paul. I guess this sort of explains why so many people can say he's their best friend. ...But most of those people tend to drift away....and for some reason I'm still welcome. I guess most of them are all welcome,..they moved on. I'm not going to pretend to understand any of that.

Anyway, I am very excited about VanHelsing-ing with them this weekend....apparently it is going to be a really big group. ...not really sure why, I mean....it's not like Pottering. ..Maybe it was because this was the group I first Underworlded with and they are Classic Monster freaks. ....I'm just a vampire dork. Oh yeah, on the phone today B and I were discussing the hotness of Kate Beckinsale, especially that corset!

I guess the point of this entry is to express that I really miss him.

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