Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

Answered Prayers
July 09, 2003 11:50 p.m.

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I have a tendency to get very scared of my future, and I know that fear is the result of lack of trust in God. (2 Tim. 1:7 "for God had not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of sound mind").

My faith is renewed when I get little signals that I am in fact on the right path. I had such and experience today.

Around 3 this afternoon I popped on to do the usual online ritual. when I checked my email I found an email from my former professor who is working as the assistant to the Rose Hulman curator telling me I could bring my work in today (yeah incase I didn't mention,...I wasn't able to get it turned-in in time....long story)...but again I was allowed to take it in today, and they seemed happy with them and seemed that they would be contacting me in a few weeks letting me know which ones they wanted me to bring in.

Then I spent a little time talking with my former professor, specificly asking her about the up and coming juried show for the local museum. I've been somewhat reluctant to enter because it has a $25 entry fee and last year's show was very conservative so I didn't want to pay that much and have my work eliminated in the first wave just because it is loud non objective work. but I found out that the juror changes every year...and this year they some how managed to get the curator for The Whitney to be the juror. How fuckin' awesome is that!!!!! So I'm gonna get to work on something new and spectactular to enter as a means of impressing him and hopefully getting my foot in the door of the art world.

Oh and while I spent 45 minutes chillin' with my former professor there was a storm raging outside and a tornado came though not far from where I was. .....I however was in a very safe location and didn't even know this was going on.

All I know is that God had his eye out for me today and answer my prayers that I made at St. Joe's the other day. ....I feeling a bit more confident in future today.

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