The other night I got really depressed (but something girly happened the next day that explained why (don't ask don't tell))

I was about 11pm and I had to return a DVD to blockbuster and once I pulled into my neighborhood and just didn't want to go home, so i drove around the neighborhood, and when I got to my road,..I just drove past it and off to a friend house....Oh and this whole time I was playing this really depressing song on the new Garbage cd (I'm horrid with titles because I never carry a case around with me)...but it's Track 9. Anyway,..I had this song on repeat and was just driving around for maybe a half and hour. the first time I was ever in a real mood to just drive. I kept thinking about how different aspects of that song remind me of my friends. I mean the there's aline that's like "it's funny how you still have to ask if I care".

That's B Right there. there are times when I become alittle unsure of our friendship. but...oddly enough...when I need to move into my apartment on sunday and the office wasn't open, I called him to pick up my keys for me, and he told me that my land lord was going to open my storage space (which is the other half of my duplex) early in the morning, so B had his housemate driving him to my place at noon...and when my mom and I showed up at 2, he had moved EVERYTHING IN! that was alot of stuff...Heavy stuff! Computer (all pieces) TV, Books, movies, INSANE!

Anyway, it is ungodly late, and I need to go (see I'm at a 24 hour lab 10 minutes from my apartment,..darn I'm sad.

You know, I could write a bunch of useless personal stuff...or I could write a randome thought I've been thinking about,...

Going with the random thought.

I was at home and I was playing the Chris Rock stand-up Cds that I burned. Yes, both Chris Rock HBO specials.

Now then, if you are familar with them, you know that Chris Rock uses the 'F' word every other word...Which I don't have a problem with. I mean the man is hystrical he's a complete genius and I see it as I'm almost 22,..and I want to hear someone curse...I should be allowed to.

So my dad came down and was listening and he was laughing openly ...in fact he needed to go somewhere but was putting it off so he could listen.

at one point he asks me about the language and wonders how it doesn't bother me.

And I got to thinking why doesn't the word 'fuck' bother me so much. I mean, there are days when my alarm goes off and the first word out of my mouth is "Mother Fucker"....not that it should be but it happens.

Now aside from the fact that my friend use it all the time...in just about every imaginable construct...but still why isn't that incredibly offensive?

then I came to the realization. I have been watching 'R' rated movies since God knows when...I remember my favorite movies from my youth....The Die Hards...We all know 'fuck' is used alot in that film,...but what is the most famous line? Say it with me.."yippie ki ay Mother Fucker".

when Beetleguise came out, I memorized that whole movie! things like "Nice Fuckin' model."

See my mom allowed me to watch certain films which had horrible language as long as I knew I couldn't 'use those words".

So I didn't.

and actually, I didn't become bad about it until oh....maybe last semester...now 'mother-effer' comes out of my mouth all the time when I drive.

But it just seems that there are just seems that the people on the road are really just so stupid!!

...And I'm not as bad as my friends!!...

what does that sound like? ...I do heroin,...but my friends use it more...so it's okay!

yeah yeah,..maybe I should motify my language...but I'm also the girl who uses 'darn', 'darn it', and 'holy crap'.