nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

Annoyed
May 28, 2005 1:49 a.m.


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There really aren't words to tell how annoyed with C I am right now.

She pulled one of there famous disappearing acts, what a bitch.

I'm sorry, but her lame excuses or explanations will not cut it this time.

So I made plans with her that I would come down thursday night, and and leave friday.

she said that would be cool, but her parents would be coming down on friday.

So I called her last night before I left, didn't get a hold of her.

got about half way there, couldn't get a hold of her,

Also, this included her cell phone, it was turned off.

and hour later I showed up at her house. The house was dark, her car was in the drive, but no one came to the door or would answer the phone. I realized that she was no where to be found.

The cat was in the window screaming his head off.

this was when I called B. Now...keep in mind it was about 1am in NY.

I called and told him what was up. he told me that had been trying to get a hold of her for 2 days as well.

He told me that she and Paul were planning to go to some park think and weds and they might stay the night, but we couldn't imagine them staying 2 nights.

B had me then drive over and look for Paul's car to see if he was home and if they were just hanging out at his house.

No Luck.

at that point B hung said he was going to make some calls.

I drove over to campus and started wandering around.

when he called back he told me that he had called a number of people and no one had been able to get a hold of her for the past 2 days, and no one knew where she was. He also called both hospitals, and no she hadn't been admitted, he also called the police and, no, there had not been an accident with Paul's car.

So, then Bri proceeded to tell me everywhere a key could possibly be hidden. I looked everywhere. In the mail box, under wood on the porch, in the webber, in the garage, under the mat. you name it I looked there.

Finally B had me looking for open windows. We decided that the open kitchen window would work. I tried to jimmy the screen, but that wasn't working, but it did have a tear so I decided I would rip it open. with B's permission of course.

I got a hatchet from thegarage and started cutting it open, I did the right side and part of the top.

and then I realized that.....Mother Fucker, .....the window was in fact down.

and this point we had exhausted all possiblites....and we were convinced she had fallen off a cliff or something because she wouldn't have let Roo stay there and starve.

So I drove back over to Paul's house, before I had no idea which one it was, I was just looking for the car.

all the lights were on and the computer. I knocked several times, and no answer.

Also, we were keeping in mind the her mom was supposed to be coming down in the morning, and B called and talked to their dad and he had not been able to reach her and didnt' know where she was.

At this point we had exhausted all options, and B had to get to bed.

I then proceeded to drive the 2 hours back home.....all the while thinking she was stuck in the wilderness somewhere.

so I called again this afternoon around 4 pm and I finally get a hold of her.

"Oh, you told me you were coming on a different day"

Um...Bitch, I think I know my schedule. I would not tell you the wrong day, you just forgot. You forgot....and instead of admitting your mistake, like you always do....You try to put it off on me.

She can't ever fucking admit when she's wrong.

and she apparently told everyone that they would only come back if she was tired, but most likely they would stay till friday morning.

there was apparently miscommunication all around.

...Fuck. No. I'm not dealing with her excuses. I drove 2 hours to see her and she couldn't be bothered to remember.

And she seemed not to care that we thought something bad had happened to her.

and seem seemed obivious to the fact that I had to drive 4 hours because she's selfish.

bitch.




Missing
May 27, 2005 1:36 p.m.


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So without causing anyone worry, I must write that I think something serious might have happened to a friend of mine.

Nothing is certain yet. No details, just assumptions.

I'm still in denial, hoping for the best.

Will write more later depending on the outcome.


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