Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

Party last night
August 29, 2004 1:52 p.m.

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Working all day is really wearing me out, I mean....I'm just physically worn out.

Last night Becky and I were responsibly irresponsible,....actually, I don't think we were, I think we were just plain irresponsible.

The Wabash people decided to have a party and we decided the to go. The part was about and hour from where we live. This means that when I got home from work at about 11pm I had to eat something, change clothes and drink some coffee (and the same for becky) before we could leave. …I think we ended up getting there around 1am. and then leaving the party around 4:30 before needed to hit a Steak n Shake on the way back……so I was home and in bed around 6:30am. giving me about 7 hours sleep,….I have to be at work at 3, becky 3:30,

but the party was good times and I’m glad we went.

My friend John was telling Becky and I that we needed to paint,…..and how a painter paints….and if I’m not painting then am I really a painter? I was looking around Katie’s apt looking at all her work and her working supplies and it made me want to go home and work myself.

I said that I would get off work tonight and paint,….and John said I should, and Becky should hold me accountable….and she said she would.

John also told me to get her to work too.

I really need to be painting. I love painting……I just get distracted by movies or books.

also I got paid yesterday and it wasn’t the check I was expecting, it only had 10 hours on it. I was hoping to pay my rent with it, but that can’t happen, so I feel like being irresponsible (again) and using it to buy the Alias Season 3 when it comes out on the 7th……the idea has diabolical merit doesn’t it?

Anyway,…..running late again…ugh shame on me…….Have to get ready for work.

Past

Present

Coffee

Zeldman

Otep

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