 |
| nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME --Wurdz by Otep Shamaya |
 hell?May 04, 2003 6:01 a.m. Related Reading The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fourth Level of Hell! Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test    Gone Gone Gone like the AutumnMay 04, 2003 5:19 a.m. Related Reading So it's almost 5 am, I should be sleeping, I wish I were sleeping, but I'm not. I'm in the computer lab on campus..and why is that you ask? BECAUSE MY FUCKING NEIGHBOR AND HIS GIRLFRIEND MOTHERFUCKING LOCKED ME OUT OF MY APT! bastards. B told me I could stay at his place, but I figured this was a sign from god for me to stay up and do some logic homework....which I haven't seem to have done yet... Instead I spent an hour getting food (don't ask) and went to the 3d building on campus and chilled to eat it. (with the intention of welding afterwards) Because I only had 2 hands I was only able to bring in my food and my cd player, I had my Andrew Osenga cd so I decided to play it. Track 2 is a song called Kara. It's a song about the girl who got away. A girl named Kara who lives in Indiana. If you haven't figured it out yet the Raven girl's real first name is Sara and she lives in Indiana. Kara is also an artist to decides to go to school in North Carolina and I've considered going to grad school in S. Carolina.. Call me lame but this song has become a Travis song. It doesn't help that Travis and Andrew look remarkably alike. Here's a snip-it of the lyrics (click the above link for the entire song) "...then things started getting a little busier, and the holidays were over. Before you knew it I took a Summer job in Indianapolis, and the city draped its fog over me. I told myself I was too busy to write. Biggest mistake I ever made. When I came home at the end of the Summer, I called up Kara, and I got her Mother, she said she'd left for school in North Carolina to study art and do something wonderful. Kara, where we're from, here in Indiana, we're just a small town, like any other, and we all watched you, because we loved you. You were so beautiful. You didn't even try. And you were gone, gone, gone, like the Autumn I fell in love, you were gone, gone, gone, Kara, goodbye. Do something beautiful. I know you will..." Hearing that song made me realize something. Exactly 3 years ago tonight I was living in the 3d studio, not literally, figurtively, finishing my project due for my 3d design class. He was also in this class and was in there working most of the time I was. We had talked all semester, but it was working long hours on that last assignment when we had the most fun and I really started to get to know him, started thinking of him more than just that new guy I had a crush on. and there I was the exact same place 3 years later, preparing to graduate, thinking of everything that has happened to me, mainly on the good things, my successes, my possible future....and then thinking about him. Thinking how all I really want is to see him again. How all this hard work and determination has paid off considerablly, and I still don't get to see him. I think that I came to the decision to ask my friend Pryce if she has some contact information for him, maybe just an email address. ...Maybe I'll tell him about the show,....or maybe I'll tell him the truth...(maybe both) The truth being a majority of this story (excuding the part about the song) ....how the above made me think of him, and made me curious to ask about him. And if he writes back then good, if he doesn't, fuck it atleast I'll know. Hell he might write me telling me to not to contact him ever again and block my emails...again atleast I'll know ...and say fuck him. but it's this not knowing and wondering and missing and questioning and daydreaming and fantasizing and remembering and hoping that's killing me.I wish the little fucker would just break my heart and get it over with, cause then I might be able to move on. |
Otep   |
| Me being overly analytical of Britney and Christina - July 31, 2008 - - Fantasy is sometimes better than reality. - July 24, 2008 Count Down with Keith Olbermann Special Comment - June 12, 2008 Reality Romances. - May 22, 2008 Layout by Raven Green |