Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

the diaries of Normals Fans
May 28, 2002 11:52 p.m.

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Why is it that reading Christian diaries makes me embaressed to be a Christian?

I dunno...I was looking though my profile, and click the bands I like looking at the profiles and diaries of the individuals who like the same bands I do....specificly The Normals, my favorite band.

This little jaunt always upsets me, everytime, I don't know why I feel the need to do it. maybe the hope that one day I'll find someone who likes them because the are a great band, and not for the sole reason that they are Christian. I mean...sure ......I bet these people like them for more than because they are Christian,...but they point of view is very narrowed.

I'm just sick and tired of all the Christian cliches, the things people think that they are supposed to say just because they are Christian.

This narrowed, superior point of view. I can't stand it.

Harry Potter vs. House of Leaves.
May 28, 2002 11:14 p.m.

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So,...upon finishing the 4th Harry Potter book, I started reading House of Leaves again, .....after reading something ...I dunno, idealist, and innocent, with heros, and good guys, and the possiblity of hope, where the good guy always comes out on top......reading house of leaves where the main protagonist is very depressed, and you are following his progression into insanity, learning of the awful things in his life that lead him to this state, and the other charactors are also in the same type of prodicament, only factor in a monster (the house) that is the driving element in their depression and insanity. A monster that is in your very home and is growing in strength and consuming your loved ones, a metaphor for all that's bad in your life, and it keeps getting worse.

In this book there is absolutely no feeling, or chance of hope, it tells you that in the introduction.

Yeah...so coming from something with good guys and hope,...this book is all that more depressing.

job search thing
May 28, 2002 11:04 p.m.

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So I'm doing the job search thing and it's depressing the hell out of me.

All I want is a pathicly easy job that a lab monkey could do, and get paid minimum wage. Hell...the job I was wanting to get at the coffeehouse (I didn't get it and my friends are dumbfounded) didn't even pay minimun wage. Training pay is $5.10 an hour, regular pay is $4.75 plus tips.

The applications for Pier 1, hobby lobby and books a million are INSANE! I mean, the hobby lobby one has something that I'm supposed to read before I can fill out the rest of the application (in theory) and it doesn't come with the application, I have to go back to the store and specially request it! Then there is a crap load of things that are actually on the application, and that folds out and you find all the regular application stuff. ...I mean when you get it, it's this little brochure thing, you think "wow, this won't be too hard". DECEIVING! DECEIVORS! I mean...I'm a painter! I'm a fine arts major! I know more about that shit than the people working there and you expect me to jump though how many hoops? ri-goddamn-diculous! And the best part, they are really hiring! The told me to fill out the darn thing and they'd keep it on file! ...bitches.

What else. Oh...I had a phone interview with walmart,...completely automated. Very interesting.

Grrrr.....I also read in the newspaper that a pizza place is hiring cooks and drivers, and at first I was like, "AWESOME, I can deliever pizza." and then I starting thinking, 'wait, I a rather small, pretty girl, ...who knows who I'd be delievering to." ..I wouldn't want to find myself out in west T at 1am ...who knows what might happen to me, although I might see about the cook thing, I could make pizza, maybe.

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Coffee

Zeldman

Otep

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