Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

the raven girl a hussy?
July 24, 2003 3:03 a.m.

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Wow, I have an insane amount to write about, The same 3 mental entries and 2 new ones. ...but noting how tired I am,...you're only getting one. ....and it's gonna be hard to keep myself awake enough to write it.

So there's this girl (see mental entry 4) I'll reference as Liddle (little)Maria. She's in my print making class...but I've know her for a few months.

Today we were talking and she told me that she referenced me to this 3rd person....who in turn told her (if you can follow) that someone needs to tell me to stop hitting on ~insert the name of the ceramics boy ~ because he's married.

Apparently there has been some departmental pow wow where they all discussed and confered that I like the ceramics boy and and should stop hitting on him.

Ah the irony. isn't it wonderful?

He plays me
.... waits 5 months to tell me he has a girlfriend....and 2 months to tell me he's engaged....and a father to be (2 month is disceiving...they got engaged in Dec and married in March...I find out in Feb, and actually the end of feb and the wedding was the beginning of march..)

I dunno..maybe someone should tell him to stop hitting on me...and remind him that he's married. ......always blame the girl.

Oh and the best part. I move out of my apt on the 18th ...my guess is this is before classes start...the ceramic boy has gone back to W. Virginia....the likely hood of my even seeing him again is very small. but ya know...someone should tell me to stop hitting on him because he's married. I know I'm hated in the dept. but I'd like to be because I'm an arrogant, opinionated, loud month bitch.....not because I converse with a friend of mine who happens to be married. ...I mean...there's another guy in the ceramics department that I love to hang out with and talk to who is also married! ...ya know I like talking to guys who have girls because that elimatates the whole flirting problem. My theroy was that I could talk with him all I wanted without wondering if it will become a dating issue....because I know from the start. ....And actually I thought the Ceramic boy and I had finally resolved the weirdness between us...and then this happens. ...I don't get it.

but again, blame the girl.

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