Fire and Rain
July 31, 2004 11:45 p.m.

But last night, wow....what an interesting evening. where so much and yet so little happened.

around 2:30 yesterday afternoon my friend Aric showed up on my door step inviting me to a party. Avoiding all build up, this would be a party with the Jeff circle of friends.

Apparently the guy's house was way out in the middle of no where,...giant house, insane amounts of property, beauiful long green grass. and back in a clearing, surounded by trees was a bon fire, it was really beauiful. there were some tents set up.

Now when we got there there was a car following us up the road to the house.

It was Jeff's car. ...in it was him and his housemate.

Now as much as I love the party's host, and I do, he told us that he was afraid that the party he was going to be too big...so he did everything he could to keep it from getting so big....and it worked. ...the party consist of Me, Aric, the host, Jeff and his housemate. 2 othe people showed up later, but much later after we were all super intoxed.

But...yeah, can you imaging the ackward nature of it all. I started drinking right away. I really needed to take the edge off.

And over all, the ackwardness did subside a bit, and considering the last party ..experience... this wasn't bad.

but I did drink alot.

there was lots of great conversation with the host. We discussed Dragonlance, and Harry Potter, Happy Harry Potter Birthday by the way.

One thing was really nice the light mist of rain. ...falling on my skin which was warmed from the fire. it was really nice.

We also discussed cards. I threw some cards for my friend Aric earlier that day and apparently the host did the same, And atleast 2 of the same cards came up in both spreads.

but one of the best moments was when all the alcohol finally kicked in and I layed down in the wet grass by the fire, feeling the grass on my skin, my eyes closed, listen to the radio and the various conversations. it was quite lovely. Oh but of course the radio was playing lovely bagage songs all night, things like My Immortal and The First cut is the deepest and an assortment of other things. My Immortal especially because there was alot of Evanesance paid in my car when Jeff and I were in it together.

it was shortly after that though when the bad came,...sitting up was bad.

my friend Aric was wanting to go....because he had to go to work today,...he suggested I should just stay there. And Donald kept suggesting that he and Jeff could drive me home the next day. ...but at that time ....in my horribly inibriated state all I wanted was my nice, soft, warm bed...and besides that the last think I would want would be to sleep outside on the ground and wake up in that same situation the next morning with a horrible hangover ...and get a ride home, when I'm gross and hungover, from the person who broke my heard into tiny pieces. That didn't sound like fun.

So I ended up sobering up a bit...and was able to sit up and walk around and got myself into my friend's car.

Now normally I am not awake when I'm that drunk, I'm usually in bed by that point...I don't get to that point very often...and I'm usually in bed before the rambling starts, but Aric got my stream of consciencousness rambling....particually about Jeff. ...and the more I talked the worse he felt about taking me there and for being so insensitive about the situation and telling me that he was under the impression that I was over him.

and in my rambling Aric told that if it was any consolation Jeff feels really bad about the situation....apparently really really really bad. Aric couldn't seem to stress that enough. My response everytime was, "Good".

Aric took good care of me though, he bought me water and tylenol from a gas station and insisted that I take it.

Ugh, so I've spent most of my day in bed. I got up around 5pm and did a few things, but I'm about to curl back up in bed and watch some Harry Potter and go back to sleep.

Oh, and the interesting thing was I woke up yesterday after having a dream about encountering Jeff, and I hadn't had a dream about him in months.

Anyway, that's another issue and I might write about that later, but this has gotten long and I'll leave that for another day.