Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

The ceramic boy finally came clean.
February 21, 2003 2:35 a.m.

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Okay, so I've been saying for awhile now how it has urked me that the Ceramic boy still hadn't told me he has a girlfriend, a serious one. For example he went back to w. virginia for Vday I'm assuming....and told me late Thursday night that he was going to 'drive home' ...I assmued he meant his apt. ..but when I didn't see him till wedsday I figured he went to WV. ...Now why he couldn't have told me that I don't know.

Anyway my point. I should have taken B out to chill with him a long time ago. ..

Tonight I took B out to see my sculpture and as we pulled up the Ceramic boy pulled up. He was carrying beer for the purpose of making clay and offered us some.

So we hung out and watched him make clay and I was leading he and B in telling one another stories...When I told him to tell this really funny story about this drunken quest to a river to get sand to make glaze from. So we all went back to his studio and he starts telling this story. ...BUT this is NOT the story I heard. ...This version of the story included 2 ex-girlfriends, this hot girl at a bar he was trying to pick up and a bartender he as talking about. ....All of this before he even gets to the story he told me. ....Apparently the quest was all to impress a girl....instead of an excuse to sell expensive pots to tourists as he had orginally told me. ...And this girl (this happened last Aug) his his serious girlfriend who he decided last December that he wanted to marry so he buys her this really expensive ring...and 3 days after he does this she tells him that she's pregnant. ....So yeah...They're getting Married in march.

I'm all happy for him. I think it's really cute. ...I just don't understand why he didn't tell me any of this before. Maybe he finally got really exicted? Maybe, no matter what I tell them, the Ceramic boys think B and I are dating. ...I mean we did split the B the ceramic boy gave me. ...So I dunno. ..I don't know what about tonight made him decided this was the night that he should tell me all this..But ya know..I'm glad he came clean. I mean...since Chester told me he had a woman...I backed off....seriously. entirely innocent flirting. I mean I knew he had a girlfriend so I wasn't expecting anything to come of it. ...but his not telling me just seemed kind of deceiteful...so I'm glad he came clean.

But...anyway, I has homework I remembered I had to do. ..Stupid pointless busywork homework for my stupid freshman waste time wankfest of a class for 3 stupid mesely gen. Ed points for graduation.

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