Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

eating habits.
January 19, 2005 12:34 p.m.

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I've been having a really bad case of insomnia lately. for the past week I've being going to bed around 6 or 7 am. and I have for various reason been getting up about the same time. As was the case "last night". I'm so tired right now...but I have to go to work.

My eating habits have been all out of wack as well. I don't know if all these things are related or what....but I've been blaming work. While at work I rarely have time to. Every so often I'll get to sit down and have dinner (a sandwich) at our around 7pm. but lately I've been going a full day on a jelly donut in the 'morning' and maybe something in the evening. ....so my stomach has pretty much shrunk. I can't eat as much in a sitting as I used to. I find myself filling a bowl full of soup and only being able to eat half of yet. There are times when I will be still hungry but I will just be bored with eating....so lately I've been suffering almost constant hungry pains. ...Oh right...that and I'm getting annoyed with the whole food buying process. wasting money on food when I'd much rather spend it on something else. ....so there really isn't a choice collection of edibles in the house. ...and practically no quick edibles.

last night I was really hungry and couldn't sleep...but it was way to early too cook something like, say, rice....and I just wasn't in the mood for the chicken noodle soup I made....I had too very large glasses of of milk hoping that would chill my stomach out and the chemical in the milk would make me drosey.

anyway,...I need to finish with this bowl and get changed for work,

I think I might be feeling better though...aside from the tired part.

Past

Present

Coffee

Zeldman

Otep

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