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| nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME --Wurdz by Otep Shamaya |
| Confidence May 27, 2002 4:46 p.m. Related Reading Okay, in the true passive aggressive nature, I have a new aim screename. (check my profile). And why is that you might ask? quite simply, I am in hiding. hiding from whom? The internet boy. I figured he's going to be at camp for a bit, and he's never on during the day, I have more than enough time to go, create a new email address and make a new screen name. Why? because he knows all my secret ones, der! ....plus I have forgotten the spellings and passwords to the ones he doesn't. so yes,...I just going to hide and hope he never finds me, because frankly I don't have the balls to tell him I don't want to talk to him again. And,..it's not because I'm shallow and superficial....I am, but that's beside the point. True, I did go on and on about how I do not in anyway find him physically attractive....It's more than that. What is number one on my list of qualites I want in a guy.. Confidence! ....confidence is so effing importent! I HATE when guys want to be with me because it will make them feel better about themselves. This whole thing of how they must be worth something if I can see something good in them...or because the girl they are with is awesome. NO! THAT IS NOT MY JOB! My job is not to make you feel better about yourself,...if you have no selfworth. NO. no. I believe a relationship (eventhoughI'veneverbeeninone) is about equality. I expect to see myself as equal to the person I'm with. No better, no worse. Because if I don't think he's equal to me, then I will be turned off immediately, and If I'm not equal with him, then...forget that.. I expect to be able to sit down and converse and have my opinions questioned! I want someone who as the balls to tell me that I'm wrong about something, or that they think I'm wrong aout something, not just going along with what I say. ...Or if they agree, tell me why they agree!....not just sit across from me like a sad puppy and expect me to cheer them up. ...That's all friday was. This sad lonely guy, who had no self worth was expecting to get all that from me,...and that's impossible. You can't love anyone until you love yourself. You can't be with someone and be constantly thinking they deserve better, you have to know that you are worth something, and the other person is lucky to have you. Confidence. ....no ego, confidence. |
Otep   |
| Me being overly analytical of Britney and Christina - July 31, 2008 - - Fantasy is sometimes better than reality. - July 24, 2008 Count Down with Keith Olbermann Special Comment - June 12, 2008 Reality Romances. - May 22, 2008 Layout by Raven Green |