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| nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME --Wurdz by Otep Shamaya |
  cathartic whiningFebruary 26, 2004 10:37 p.m. Related Reading I think I'm going to go drink a cup of tea. Take so Alieve (restrain myself from taking to manny). And go to bed. I going to do this and try to forget that I am so lonely it hurts. I all I want is someone to want me. I don't want to be with someone just so they can take from me all that is good and then throw me aside. and I know that's all he wants to do with me. And as much as I idealize what I once preceived him as, the truth is that he deceived me then. And if I go back it will be because I deceived myself and thought it was worth living in a fantasy just to fill the loneliness. Now it's one thing if that fantasy is all in my head (the nz guy). That can't be confused with reality (unless I screw up and do it) but If I let him in my house, let him hold me, look at me like I'm the most beauiful girl in the world. Kiss me. make me feel so safe as I fall asleep in his arms.... How could I keep myself from believeing that it is real? He would leave, gotten his momentary fix and I would be more lonely then ever. |
Otep   |
| Me being overly analytical of Britney and Christina - July 31, 2008 - - Fantasy is sometimes better than reality. - July 24, 2008 Count Down with Keith Olbermann Special Comment - June 12, 2008 Reality Romances. - May 22, 2008 Layout by Raven Green |