Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

"There's only us, there's only this, forget regret or life is your's to miss, no other road, no other way, No Day But Today." RENT
September 12, 2001 11:53 p.m.

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Oh...so all these events had me thinking...what if I had been on one of those planes, or in that building. If I were to die suddenly like that, would I be happy with my life. Is there anything that I would regret not doing.

The Answer?

No.

And if someone I loved died...would her be anything I would wished I had told them?

Everyone in my life knows how I feel about them. C know's that I love her, my sista. B know's I see him as my big brother, and sometimes that I can be very maternal about him too. And well....and yes T. If God forbid, he died....I wouldn't have to spend the rest of my life regretting that I never got the balls to tell him how I feel. because I did that.

Granted these are some morbid thoughts, but it's a nice feeling...to have no regrets. I mean...there are things WAY back that I do regret..but I cant change them. And as far as my life now...It's nice to have no regrets.

Ex Roommie
September 12, 2001 11:33 p.m.

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So a friend of mine was in the elevader today and my room mate from last year was in there too talking another fat bitch (no really this chick IS...I'm normally not that mean,..but in this chick's case it's true) who lives on the floor. and they were talking about how they have single rooms this year,...and this chick asks my ex roomie if she had to pay for her single last year...

**Side Note...my ex roomie is the most delusion chicka on the planet. Seriously, last year she jumped down off the top bunk...and supposedly landed on my shoe that was sticking out just alittle from under the bed...and broke her foot. Now then...because of her...there are people on this campus who don't know me who think that I broke her foot. Yes, she told EVERYONE that a broke her foot. There's alot more I could say..but ya know, I'll leave it at that. Email me if you want more details...

Anyway...so she tells this chick, that no she didn't have to pay for the single because it was "an emergency situation". .....My friend (D actually) said she leaned in and said that I was "psychotic and threatended to kill her". Now then, if you know me, this is hystarical! I would never hurt anyone. And it's not like I say "I'm gonna kill you" sarcasticly, because I don't. ..I do say "don't make me hurt you". But...I mean..I don't even joke about killing someone. ....And now I can't help but wonder how many people on this campus think I did threaten her.

I shouldn't care, but I do.

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