Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

Carrie
June 09, 2004 1:40 p.m.

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I have decided that the horrible show called Room Raiders has some seriously cute guys. And I don't mean cute as in hot....I mean cute as in adorable and fun. I totally want one of them. Most definately the cutie Italian boy who put on the butterfly wings and threw the girl's socks and underwear all over the room.

I have yet to figure out where the cool boys are around here.

I think I've come to the opinion that though I drool over Mr. Hottie Hottie, I think I've decided that he's lacking in the personality department and I think that it is definately his loss.

As I sit here right now (rather sleepy I have to admit) and I realize that there is so much change in my life right now that I haven't really been documenting in this little diary, and I'm not quite sure why that is.

I have a new good friend that I don't think I've even mentioned. Her name is Carrie. She was one of the people I met and my friend Becca's and we started talking and ended up and Dennys and then watching a movie. And really I think she's becoming one of my really good friends. We hang out alot...stay up all night and watch movies.....or Alias...I've gotten her horribly addicted to that show.

We have also come up with our own personal motto: "Its the quiet ones". I might not that I'm especially quiet....but with my lovely inexperienced nature I am one of the 'quiet ones' even though I'm loud and fun......you have no idea what a little vixen I am....or will be when the lucky guy finally shows up.

Carrie is one of the new underage puppies I have brought home. I keep hanging out with younger and younger people. and I've decided that this is not because I'm immature....but rather...people my age are getting really boring. ...so the only people I can have stimulating conversation with are under 21. (I made friends with a 17 year old recently but I'm not getting into that now) Carrie will be 21 next month....I'll be 24 next month. ...we have alot of similar views when it comes to sexuality and things we are into. I like that I can show movies like Secretary or Mary Reilly and she actually understands why I like it. we watched MR last night and she agrees that it is dripping with sexuality...it is entirely dom/sub. It is seriously hot! and sooooo sexy! I can tell her details about what I'm into sexually and she entirely understands. We were discussing just last night how we need to take some friends of ours toy shopping because they have no experience with them in the slightest.

She was telling me last night that she just met this really great guy (who she should be going out with tonight) and how our friend becca thought he was a bit chucky but Carrie says he's just a big teddy bear and a sweetheart...and really strong under a bit of squish. But...when he drove her home, he kissed her goodbye...he threw her down on the hood of the car and really really kissed her....and I was like "wow! That's a keeper!" and she was like "I KNOW! I knew you'd understand."

But what I'm getting at is that I can talk with her about things in a way that I can't with other people...and I really mean that. Becky...love her and all but we don't talk like that. And well....C she's been really pissing me off lately.

So I'm just feeling that this friendship is becoming something special and I think that's really great and unexpected.....epecially because she is another friend of a friend of mine who I wouldn't have became friends with if we hadn't been thrown together in the way in which we were.

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