Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

Making the Promises never for real.
December 05, 2002 12:49 a.m.

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Oh, I remember what I was going to write.

I burned a cd the other day. It started off that I was just going to burn another copy of a mix I made last spring, but I opted to take some songs out, and put others in.....I titled the cd Re-mix. ......Laugh with me people, it's a wonderfully hideous bad pun.

anyway, in a rather spur of the moment I decided to burn 9 Days, "Story of a Girl". ..After the first couple of days I was regretting it, embarressed with myself, and then I started paying attention to the words, and they reminded me of the whole Ceramic Boy situation.

~Note I just looked up the lyrics online because I didn't feel like typing them out, and noticed that I had miss heard one key thing, so I'm going to put what I thought it was in (). ..That way it will make sense in the context.~ (BTW I'm obviously the girl in the and this is of course from his perpective.)

"This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looked so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her when she smiles

How many days in the year she woke up with hope
But she only found tears
*Actin'* (And I can be) so insincere
Making the promises never for real
As long as she stands there waiting
Wearing the holes in soles of her shoes
How many days disapear
You look in the mirror so how do you choose

Your clothes never wear as well the next day
And your hair never falls out quite the same way
You never seem to run out of things to say"

The Caffination Proclimation.
December 05, 2002 12:35 a.m.

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So the little Raven is absolutely exausted and she has a five page paper to write, and a presentation to prepare for. I opted to write the 5 page paper and do the presentation over it instead of writing the 10 page paper. As of now, I think it was a good move. ..This is my project over The Cell btw.

This is Dead week. They call it dead week because the goal come out of this week alive. Basicly all this week I have been living on caffine and getting very little sleep, and everytime I obtain a new caffinated beverage (whether it is buying or just drinking) I sing aloud or in my head...my version of Good Charlotte's "Motivation Proclimation"....The Caffination proclimation.

"Caffinate Meeeee-ee. I've got to keep myself out of that bed, Caffinate Meeee-ee, There's so much that I haven't read. If I fall down won't you come around pick me right up off the ground..."

Ugh, so last night I was in the studio until around 4:30. Partly why I was there that late was because right when I got there the director of the Permenant collection was talking with a friend of mine, and I needed to ask him a question. He has left this message on my machine about wanting one of my piece for this wine tasting event, so I wanted to ask him about it.... Aparently the most expensive restaurant in town is having this wine tasting thing and anyone who's anyone in town is going to be there,..and they will be filling the walls with art...So hopefully someone will buy one of my pieces.

but...The point, when he explained to me the details I told him I had more work in the style of that piece in my studio, which was just in the other room if he wanted to see him. ...He agreed because it was so close, but was very addiment that these better be good and I better not be wasting his time. ...But he ended up really liking the 3 pieces I showed him, and ended up giving me an unsolicited critque for about an hour. I thought that was very cool, I mean the direct of the permenant collection digs my work and wants to talk about it with me for an hour? I thought that was a good sign.

~rubs eyes~

there was something else I wanted to add, but I'm too exhausted to remember and I still have to write that paper. (Elvira Kurt, "I Don't WAAAANNNNNAAA!")

....Caffinate meeeee--ee.

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