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| nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME --Wurdz by Otep Shamaya |
  B medical troubles continue.June 10, 2003 4:01 a.m. Related Reading Right, so B has apparently had rectal bleeding for sometime now. I've known about it for awhile but apparently it has been going on for possibly years...and he told me that he was worried that this was what lead to his bout with cancer about a year ago. I haven't written about this before now because I didn't know how many people he had told and I dunno...just felt like I was giving away a secret writing it in here. He has been needing to have follow up exams from the cancer situation but didn't because he didn't have insurance. But,...since he got his new job in Jan. He now has medical insurance. the He was reluctant to get this checked out because of the embarressing nature of the problem, but his employer passed out information about home exams that one could give one's self in the privacy of oen's own bathroom. So he got one. I guess there is a tester paper an when you place in in water there is one square that will slowly turn blue as to show what a postive test would look like, this other section will turn blue eventually only if it is positive, and takes a long time to turn blue. B's turned blue instantly, before even the example section turned. ...It then darkened to green and then disenigrated....something it is NOT supposed to do. So he went to the dr. and they ran several tests and still haven't figured out what's wrong. He's going in for another major test next weds. I'm not really freaking out because 1. I think I'm a bit in denial. 2. I've known he has needed to get this checked out for sometime, so because this isn't the first I've heard of it...I'm actually relieved he's getting it checked out instead of waiting and it getting worse. 3. He's psychic and says he's not dying yet. But,...pray for him. |
Otep   |
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