Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

"Why does it say paper jam when there IS no paper jam!"
September 05, 2003 8:26 p.m.

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So I've had an interesting end of my week.

...for one, I worked Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday in my mom's office, 8am-5pm.

Now what makes that interesting is the fact that my hypersomnic/insomnic pattern had retured with a vengance. ..So for whatever reason (oh yeah...depression mixed with diaryland and various books) Sunday night I didn't go to bed at a decent hour...so I got up around 7pm on Monday night. ..which caused me not to to bed on Monday...and I just stayed up all day Tuesday..(Including a long bowling session after work). then I went to bed at 10 (roughly 27 hours up), and when I awoke the next morning I had the WORST sinse headache ever! ..so I didn't work wednsday, instead I slept all freaking day (excluding the brief attempt at going to work)....again getting up around 7pm, making ..we'll say 19 hours of sleep. So of course I stayed up and went to work without sleeping Thursday...so when I got home, I went right to bed, say round 6 or 7pm, skipping dinner, so I woke up this morning around 4:30am. so that's roughly over 9 hours of sleep. and meaning I've been up for around 16 hours as of now.

Did you get all that? There'll be a quiz later.

but it's days like today (and yesterday) where I think I could be happy working on a relatively permanent basis. They had me working the past today on a brochure. The Raven Girl is very adept at using Publisher, and I whipped out a copy of a brochure that was almost identical to it's original. The only differece was that my used different colors slightly different pictures (my picture of a handshake was different from the one in the originaly, but come on, it's a HANDSHAKE. Plus I think mine was better because it and nice, clean, justified columes.

Then when I finished doing that I was asked by my boss to water the plants outside. Normally if my mom were to ask me to water the paints here I'd hate it. (mainly because my mom has 50 hundred plants spanning the front and back poraches. ..I didn't mind in my apt when when I had 2) ...But I LOVED watering them at work. the plants which he spoke up were the large barrel by the door and some impatients around 2 trees. This meant I had an excuse to get up from my desk, walk around, AND go outside and enjoy the beautiful day. ...plus I got to take a walk as I delievered mail and packages various drop off locations.

But the thing about doing the brochure, even though I'm not a designer (one of those GD people), the fact that I was actually getting to be creative and use my color and composition skills and get paid for it is really nice. ...I did their newsletter 2 years in a row (the had the chick they fired do it this year) and I had alot of fun doing that.

And I don't mind doing shit work like various forms of filing, or entering databases, or insane organizing and filing and cleaning out of the fortis files (which won't be needed much longer) as long as I can break them up....splice them together....And the new guy seems so impressed with me and this brochure I wouldn't be surprised if they keep throwing creative work at me! and that would be awesome!

Only problem is I always so tired when I leave there in the evenings. If I'm gonna have a day job it would suck if that left me too tired to make art.

Past

Present

Coffee

Zeldman

Otep

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