Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

Wabash party
February 03, 2003 7:43 p.m.

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So I went down to B-town on saturuday and saw some friends from high school. It was fun. then later after we all got back from dinner there was a message on their machine from another friend of mine from high school is now living in b-town. He came over for a bit and invited us to a party her was going to at Wabash Which some more old friend of mine where having. ...Therefore because I hadn't seen them in forever...I hitched a ride 2 hours to Wabash.

the party was great. I was so cool to see all my old friends again. ...And I didn't drink all the much because I was still really hung over from the night before...all though I did play a drinking game at the end of the night...just for social reasons.

I also met this really hot guy there...or atleast he's might kind of hot. ...I think he had a nose ring, a labrias piercing, his ears pierced and atleast on nipple piercing. He and one of my old friends were having fun jumping and shouting to the music. It was really great. ...but unfortunately though a serise of unexpected events I was unable to exchange numbers with him. ...I was expecting to see him the next day at breakfast...but he wasn't there. ...alas. I'm thinking about emailing one of my friends and asking about him.

Oh...and one of my male friends at the party ended up giving me a really good back massage....it's really strange because it was a much more intimate experience than I would have expected have with this guy because he's entirely not my type. ..I was in my pjs when this was going on...which includes a very large t-shirt over a tank top. ..And he started off giving me the massage over the shirt ..and at some point before I could realize it...his hands were underneath my shirt as oppose to on top of it. ...but he wasn't trying to get fresh with me...He was being really respect full...solely giving me a back massage,...not attempting to go any futher. It was really nice. ...and kind of weird to think about it. ...but nice.

Bar hopping Friday.
February 03, 2003 7:09 p.m.

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So...time to write more on my weekend.

Friday night I ended up going out to a few bars with some friends in order to celebrate one of their birthdays. The really hot print making professor went with us and I got to pick his brain for awhile about life in the art world.

I got exstremely drunk that night, and most of it I didn't even have to buy. It's nice to be a girl sometimes.

We started off in this small restaurant, I had a smirnoff ice, which I bought. Then we went to my favorite bar and I 2 Blue Margaritas, only one of which I bought. Then we went to this Irish pub and there one of the guys bought me a beer. Then we went back to my the other bar to meet B. While I was there I had 2 more blue margaritas and a shot of Crown. ...not of which I paid for.

This one guy who is friends with this one girl I'm friends with was buying for me at the last place. When we all got our shots of Crown I asked my friend what we were drinking to...She said "sexy boobies"....and she and I proceeded to rub our boobs while we said "sexy boobies". Last night B and I were taking and he asked me if I remembered the above...and I said yes...but apparently she and I were rubbing our boobies longer than I remembered. ...He said it was for like 5 minutes. ...I think it's funny. ..I had a great time.

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