Big Fish
May 14, 2004 4:46 a.m.

I have to say, what a lovely film. Quite lovely.

It also served as a reminder of the way that....I dunno...society in general preceives things...life...the world.

All I knew about this movie was that it was directed by Tim Burton and it was about a man who's dad is a big fish.

This is like saying Fight Club is about a man who hates his job (Becky's example).

Or that American Psycho is about a rich guy who kills people.

Or 25th Hour is about a guy who goes to prision.

The Lord of the Rings is about Hobbits walking.

Underworld is about Vampires Vs. Warewolves.

Fundamentally this might be accurate but that's not the story. The story is so much more!

I'm not sure if this is something I will need to own (perhaps) or watch again (perhaps) But it was quite lovely. It's a wonderful way to look at life.

I can understand why people dislike this film. I can understand why people found it boring. However, for me it ....I think it might have caused me to view my life in a whole new way. A way to make this boring simple life feel epic and spectacular!....which in a time in my life when I want nothing more than to be normal (looking for that 'normal' job. live in a normal town. Trying to figure out how I chose this and scared that I might be accepting fate and not chasing after it.

I really hope I'm on the right road and that I didn't stumble of somewhere. I really do want to make art. but I what a roof over my head and food to eat, and to buy an occasional obsessive compulsive purchese.

but at the same time I really really need to get focusing on my art.

And the strange thing is that I was on my way to start looking at studios when I was layed off.

I don't have any where to paint. I need a studio. that will cost me most likely about $100 a month. My rent is $300 a month. How much is gas now?

I need a good paying job with security in order to make art. I need that security.

I am so afraid. But this isn't how I'm going to go. I am not going to have my life choked out of me by some horrible tree in the middle of a dark and frightening path of life. I will make it though and be so much more.

I suppose this is faith. or maybe I'm just lying to myself. ("But why would we lie to ourselves?" ~ Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure).

I just need to keep breathing and baby step my way. My life is unreconnizable and ever spinning with change. I wish I had something real and consistent to hold on to. Yes, of course I have God....he is the only consistent thing that I hold on to.

I wish I just had something tangible to hold. A friend or a boyfriend.