1. My apt is surrounded by 3 churches.

2. the other day I was needing a tape to watch while I was working on a drawing, and randomly grabbed an unlabeled one off my self. It ended up being the 4 hour special I taped off of Discovery last Easter on the life and times of Jesus...(it's a GREAT special btw). so I watched it. ...then I went to the computer lab and a friend of mine showed me this website ..which is Jessus of the Week .com. And I pointed out to her that that was strange given what I had just been watching, and she says "Maybe Jesus is trying to talk with to you".

3. I went home last weekend for Father's day, spur of the moment type of thing. ...a friend of mine (my prom date actually) called me up Friday night about want to start a Bible study and wonder if I would like to go. ...so I went (Ugh! It was not good, contained some of those types of Christians who I don't like...this one guy was talking about Islam like he knew what he was talking about, but really he didn't (and I actually got in a debate with him) and at one point he quotes Matthew,..the verse on the narrow gate ..and ravenous wolves and false prophets.....and then used that to go into a story about a Southern Baptist ministor who, at a confrence of So. Bap. Min., made a statment that Mehomet was demon pocessed, and how he had all these wives and how one of them was a 9 year old. ..And then he tells how people were attacking this minister for saying these things, which he didn't understand because it was okay for the context. ..........and I was like, NO No No NO! It is not okay! I brought up that I felt the that quote he read applied more the that minister...being the type that will say "look I cast out demons in your name, and I did this and this" and then Christ will say, "I did not know you" ...these are the people who are preaching hate not love. My biggest pet peeve inregards to Christianity.

But..I got off subject there.

4. I narrowly escaped 3 wrecks this weekend. ...and I've heard that that means god is telling you to slow down and pay attention to things.

....but more on the Bible study,afterwards a group of us (my prom date, his girlfriend) met these other people at steak n shake...and they are big Christian too......and I just sat back and looked at these people knowing that I didn't belong. what I've learned the past few years as made me so confused in regards to religion. I don't get me wrong, I'm still a Christian, I believe in Christ and that he was cruxified..and all that....but there are elements that I am now aware of and cannot ignore, that make it impossible to be the type of christian they were.

What are these things? Most of them are in regards to the supernatural and so many Christians (not just Christians,..all people but...) are ready to dismiss anything supernatural...and I almost get the feeling that one is often condemed by mainstream Christianity if you believe in anything supernatural. However...I'm at a point in my life that I can't deny that these thing exist. Bri is basicly a poster child for supernatural behavior. for example, if you have seen the film Rose Red, Bri as told me that he has pretty much done everthing depicted in that movie atleast once.

At the end of last school year he was at Saint Mary's of the Woods (a Catholic girls college). He was waiting on some people to finish something, so he was exploring the building. Now, he had alot of weird things happend to him, but I'll only mention one. ...This entire floor was scaring the crap out of him,...so much that he wanted to sit in a corner and cry, however, he ducked in to this one room, and there he saw a large statue of Mary. He says that it was absolutely gorgeous. It was the second most beautiful statue of Mary he had ever seen. ...Later he was mentioning this to the girls he was with, who go there, and told them he would have peed his pants had it not been for the statue......and the girls faces got ghost white. Apparently the statue had been distroyed back in the '70's.

Given the things that I've witnessed that he has done, psychic things, as well as things he has told me and he has no reason to lie ..in fact his leery to tell people things at first because people are so skeptical. So I mean,...I can't be so close with Bri, and not believe in the supernatural. And I know that God wants this person in my life, I know he is meant to stay in my life for ever, so I can't believe that this is not God's will. ...and if it is God's will that I am very close to the supernatural posterboy....

My point is I can't ignore these things, and it has in turn given me a sort of pluralistic out look because there is so much that I don't understand that I can't stand up and say how someone else is wrong, I can only pray for direction in regards to my own faith.

And this is the reason I felt so outside of this group of Christians, I actually wanted to talk with my prom date and his girl about these issues...but when they invited the other 2 girls (the 3rd didn't talk so much) I knew that I couldn't bring it up. I knew what their reaction was going to be.