Raven in Green again..

nothings changed the senates still corrupt & the emporer remains insane, and every day, is a new strain of slaughter, supply lines are less protected, evil on all sides, eye can smell the death on your flesh--creeping in, trapped within the twisting fingers of fear, and all eye see is ewe, that face, those eyes, burning like leprosy, eye can see u there poisoning the air, prostituing Nationalism, and eye want to attack, to rip out your heart and lay you flat on your back, and vomit a world of agony and truth into your throbbing illness of memory...and hate guides our way, eye long for the icy slap of a belt across my back, for the acceptance of death and blind cave war, the giving sleep of depression, the sweet elucidation of savage meaningless agression, chiseled in the meaty forearms of Mother Jupiter and his slave disciples, in the harem tents--outside, just beyond the edges--eye ride, a cycoptic mare in the fires of imagination. feeding my disease, a river of plagues, eye need something to remind me I'm still sinning that pain is important, that wurdz matter, that healing is possible, that eye am not alone ...in this --guard the houses--triple the watch,--Maidens, dig up your sorcery --sirens, sharpen your rocks..ewe will eat my pain again. whatever you need unite messiah ME

--Wurdz by Otep Shamaya

Andy at Jakes
March 31, 2004 1:28 a.m.

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Oh yeah....So saturday I went to the world's most clone filled bar (yeah the one I hate) and I spotted a cutie. He was wearing jeans that were a bit too big for him, a worn out,...big navy blue t-shirt and a sweat band on his wrist<--that's kinda Avril-ish...but since I have a wrist fetish I'm willing to forgive that and just be happy for the wrist gear. He has brown hair and is kinda skinny.

I was scoping him for most of the night...I think it was fairly apparent...and when I was slightly motivated to talk to him...he got buried in a pack, so I kinda said fuck it. ...but a bit later...he moved to the edge of that pack...and was actually quite close to my table...so I sorta climbed up on it...leaned over and tapped him on the shoulder and asked him for his name. ...Andy. ..I introduced myself and told him that it was nice to see someone there that didn't look like everyone else. He said he tried hard not to look like everyone else. (oh keep in mind that I was originally not feeling very social...and especially didn't feel like dressing up so I could be like everyone else.....said fuckit and left. ...so I wasn't really looking my best). I found out that he went to Purdue...and he is a double major in Accounting and Art History. ...not only does that make one say..."How Interesting...How Bizarre" (name that movie...Becky and my current favorite movie quote...we are using in at every possible time.) ...so yeah....Accounting/Art History Major. ..How Interesting...How Bizarre! ...wait. ...actually...that reminds me of someone...My favorite DL girl!.... Anyway...so that means he's smart. ..and we might have something to talk about. ..So I asked him if he drank coffee...he said no....I could hardly hear him...but I think he doesn't because of medical reasons....but he said he does drink tea...I said to him that I was going to ask him if he wanted to get coffee sometime...but if he doesn't drink coffee we couldn't do that. ...his response was that most places that serve coffee usually serve tea....so then I asked if I could get his number so I could call him up and make plans. ...I got it in 2 forms....one on paper...and the other programed in my phone. ...they are both the same...so I think that's a good sign. ....Oh and see,...I'm learning...one of my good girl friends from hs. that I've been hangin' out with alot...who is as she puts it "A female version of a misogynist" says to always get their number. Exchanging numbers is okay...but always get their's.

I was actually quite impressed with the assertive, direct, and confident manner in which I handled the situation.

I have yet to call. ...primarily because I haven't had time! I've been a busy girl this week! my friend told me to call tonight or tomorrow...but I was busy tonight...and I have plans for tomorrow....and I have tenative plans for thursday. .....I can't even mention them because I will be mocked horribly for my lameness. The NZ guy has the night free. He can't use aim at work anymore...so we never get to converse anymore..haven't for a long time, ..partly I'm sure due to the lovely time difference. He is 6 hours behind me tomorrow. ..so it's 2 am now so it would be 8 pm for him. ....Now...I don't know if he's planning on coming online when he gets home, or has the whole day off. ..but I was thinking about asking Andy to go with me with some people to open mic nite and this bar I actually like and that runs 9ish to late. ...I wouldn't want to have to be in by 12 just to talk with the NZ ...especially if the night was going good! I mean...we could always do something with Andy some other day if he's interested....right. ...Yeah...I'm lame I'm passing up an opprotunity to do something real to talk with someone online. Yes...I'm that' horribly lame!

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